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I wish I had something profound or ground breaking to write about. I find that as much as I try to be extraordinary or removed from the norm, I end up being incredibly normal and boring. I'm extremely nervous about the future and I honestly feel unequipped to deal with everything that will come my way. I feel like my entire life I've had nothing but superficial relationships. All throughout high school I just had this thought in the back of my mind that it would all be over soon so I shouldn't get attached to anyone or anything. I felt like I just shouldn't make the effort. I really think this has a lot to do with all the moving I did when I was younger. From that I learned that eventually one person will leave, so in order to make the leaving less painful you shouldn't get involved or attached in anyway. Of course I didn't really realize what I was doing, but I guess part of fixing a problem is admitting and realizing that you have a problem to begin with. I admit that I have a problem letting people in past the superficial level and I'm working really hard to change that. I'm moving to Utah in less then a month and I really hope that I will be able to make some really close friends that will last a lifetime to add to the few friends I have really let in. I really hope that the friends I have really let in, realize who they are because they mean the world to me.